Foundations

Before we discuss children and troubleshooting, we must begin with the foundation of everything. 

 No matter what is going on with your kids, your work, your friendship circles, etc, the first and most foundationally important thing you MUST take care of is your relationship with your God, with yourself, and your relationship with your significant other.  If THOSE are strong, then you can start taking care of issues with your children.  In fact, if you have a good, stable, positive relationship, you may even see the behavior of your children vastly improve.  Kids NEED security.  They NEED to feel safe. A big part of that is the relationship of their parents.  There is an innate human need for that.  And guess what--they will emulate the way you and your spouse treat each other. They will treat their siblings and their friends the same way.  And no one has an absolutely perfect relationship, of course, but keep that in your mind and make it a priority.  This doesn't mean don't feed the kids until you work through your problems.  It means that you direct your thoughts and energies into improving your relationship.  It means you make time for your spouse and tell the kids this is your time.  It means that, as you are able, you go out on those weekly date nights away from the kids.  It means you take time each day to exercise, eat healthy, and get rest.  Take time on your knees in prayer, focus on drawing strength from your higher powers in meditation or whatever you choose.  Let go of the kids in your mind for a few minutes to take care of these vitally important parts of you! 

One caviat remains, however.  If you are in an abusive relationship, or if your children are being abused by you or your significant other, get professional help.  In some situations, it is better to go solo than it is to expose the children to harmful elements or people.

Hopefully this blog can address not only issues you face with your children, but also issues you face in yourself and in your relationships--because it really is a whole picture, and every paint stroke is important!  Enjoy!  

An Intro

Hello!! We are so excited to start this blog, because as a couple, we have an absolute LOVE for kids and families.  Rob is a Marriage and Family Therapist, and Shayna is both a nanny and a graduate of Brigham Young University with a degree in Marriage, Family, and Human Development.  We hope to change the world one family at a time ;)...or at least to be a positive influence in some way.  If anything we say does not work for your family, it is OK.  Let us know and we can always think about it more and make adjustments!!  Everything doesn't work for everyone. 

Bottom line...kids are fantastic. They are fun, they are messy, they are not-so-fun sometimes, and at the same time, they teach us more than we could ever imagine.  We often don't give them enough credit...but they are what they are, and as adults, we oftentimes forget what it's like to be a small person with a big spirit and a lack of understanding of what to do with all the emotions and experiences that happen inside of us. It is up to us, as grown-ups, to both help our children to learn how to navigate themselves through this crazy life and how to navigate ourselves so that we can also become better. Hopefully this blog can help in some way.  And by all means, we are open to suggestions and recommendations, because lets be honest, we learn best when we all work together.  

Enjoy!!! :)