Foundations

Before we discuss children and troubleshooting, we must begin with the foundation of everything. 

 No matter what is going on with your kids, your work, your friendship circles, etc, the first and most foundationally important thing you MUST take care of is your relationship with your God, with yourself, and your relationship with your significant other.  If THOSE are strong, then you can start taking care of issues with your children.  In fact, if you have a good, stable, positive relationship, you may even see the behavior of your children vastly improve.  Kids NEED security.  They NEED to feel safe. A big part of that is the relationship of their parents.  There is an innate human need for that.  And guess what--they will emulate the way you and your spouse treat each other. They will treat their siblings and their friends the same way.  And no one has an absolutely perfect relationship, of course, but keep that in your mind and make it a priority.  This doesn't mean don't feed the kids until you work through your problems.  It means that you direct your thoughts and energies into improving your relationship.  It means you make time for your spouse and tell the kids this is your time.  It means that, as you are able, you go out on those weekly date nights away from the kids.  It means you take time each day to exercise, eat healthy, and get rest.  Take time on your knees in prayer, focus on drawing strength from your higher powers in meditation or whatever you choose.  Let go of the kids in your mind for a few minutes to take care of these vitally important parts of you! 

One caviat remains, however.  If you are in an abusive relationship, or if your children are being abused by you or your significant other, get professional help.  In some situations, it is better to go solo than it is to expose the children to harmful elements or people.

Hopefully this blog can address not only issues you face with your children, but also issues you face in yourself and in your relationships--because it really is a whole picture, and every paint stroke is important!  Enjoy!